Easter is here but withdrawals are still pending—Nigerian investors refreshing dashboards and entering premium tears 😩💸
“Will I Withdraw Before Easter?” — A Nigerian Investor’s Silent Cry 🚶♂️🚶♂️
The sun is shining.
The suya is sizzling.
The Easter rice is ready.
But you? You’re still refreshing your dashboard like NEPA light switch.
Dear Online Platform, will I withdraw or will I fast with Jesus till resurrection morning? 😩
Investors be like:
"Just ₦72,300.45... I no even wan withdraw all. Na just small for Easter chicken."
But the platform says:
“Pending Approval.”
Since March 27th 🥲
Meanwhile, their Telegram admin is posting daily affirmations:
"We move."
"Your trust is our fuel."
But the only thing moving is your blood pressure.
Easter Plans Before Investment:
💅 New hair
🛍️ Ankara & lace combo
🍗 Family barbecue
💰 Soft life loading
Easter Plans After Investment:
🧘 Sitting still
🥲 Telling people you’re “fasting” for spiritual clarity
😤 Blaming the economy
When your friends ask:
"Omo, show for Easter na!"
You reply:
"Abeg I dey lowkey this year, I dey reflect on life."
But deep down, you’re reflecting on that withdrawal button you pressed 12 days ago 😭
The platform's last update:
"We dey do upgrade. Kindly exercise patience."
But the only thing you’re exercising now is self-control to not curse in tongues 🗣️
So as Easter comes, some will feast.
Some will fast.
And some... will refresh that dashboard one last time before whispering:
“God abeg.”
🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️
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