How a Woman Should Treat a Man and How a Man Should Treat a Woman

If you are searching for how does the Bible say to treat a woman, what does the Bible say about how a man should treat his woman, how a woman is supposed to treat a man or how should a wife treat her husband according to the Bible? Then these how should a woman treat a man according to the bible, how a christian man should treat a woman, how a woman should treat her husband according to the bible, how a man should treat a woman, what does the bible say about a man making a woman cry, bible verses about man respecting woman, treat your husband like a king bible and what does the bible say about hurting a woman are messages here for you to ponder upon on how a man or a woman should treat themselves in accordance with the word of God.

In trying to draw a balance within the context of this topic, I must say will arise some controversies between all concerned. As a man, it is natural to be on the men’s side but the women would say this is our time. Be it as it may, I might be tempted to go their way considering the changes in the changing time that we are presently living in. But in order to make this right and strike a balance between both, the Bible shall be our principal guide and principle reference point. The women I know want their right as well as the men do but naturally, who owes the right? Like the Bible in Genesis [2:18] says, “And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” 

These singular words in Genesis [2:18] as quoted, I would say began the origin and the purpose towards the creation of women. Anything outside this is fallacy. If this rule that is so clearly stated by our Creator is fully embedded, then the troubles we encountered in our relationship might never arise.  

Women like the scripture said in Genesis [2:18], were created to be a help meet for man. This I believe settled the issues concerning the reason for the creation of a woman. Now, we are in what is called modern age or what some would refer to as the computer age. The age where they say is equal right for equal justice but still, can the real purpose be taken away because we have gotten what is now called civilization? They say two captains can never be in a ship. In a situation where two Captains decide to direct a ship, then that ship would be in danger. So, equating the woman to a man was not the original plan, each having their roles to play which is that of complementing one another. 

I am not trying to apportion blame or look for who is the best but somehow, there should be one thing that is paramount like I said – the self and mutual respect of both parties. The problem of self and mutual respect has become an essential issue that has contributed negatively towards the smooth acceleration of family life. Sometimes I asked what happened to the sacred vow that was made on the altar of conjugal bliss the very day we decided to say “I Do”. But it seems with time, those vows are thrown to the wind and all want to be equal Captains in the same ship – the home. It is important to deal with the issue of self and mutual respect because the purpose was for both parties to be a help meet for one another and not the other way round. The day we realize this, that is the day we would begin to enjoy the bliss of joy in our family life. If you want to make your marriage work, never feel that you have it all. Respect is all it takes.

In all the troubles that is associated within a relationship, one thing I have realize is the altar of ego and pride with the vain strength of everyone not wanting to subject their inborn egos to the authority of the scripture which had laid down the roles to be played to make the home a place where the scripture will fulfilled all that was written concerning the purpose to which the Bible in Genesis [2:24] said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

The Bible said, and they shall be one flesh. That is two becoming one. Like they say it takes two to tangle. Now if this is so, where does the issue that is destroying the purpose to which God created the institution of marriage arises. Like I said, our ego and self pride plays a major role in this. The problem with these sometimes, we do not even know we have it. Every human I have come to realize has this element of pride in them. It only takes a little upset  for it to play itself out and at the end we only realize with pity how we have allowed our emotion to outgrow our thoughts.

In the altar of ego and self pride, this I realized is what makes many women more vulnerable than the men. Sometimes the men are in it too. If you say so, you are still right. Everyone I would say are entitled to their own view and opinion as long as they want to exercise their thought right. Now, let us see why women are more vulnerable. I guess their nature makes it so. Let us see what the Book of Proverbs [25:24] said, “[It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.”  If I may put it in another way, “It is better to live on the rooftop than marry a nagging woman”. Who is a brawling woman? Many would want to give their definition. But as the Book of Proverbs puts it, I do not think the word “brawling” connotes anything virtuous. It connotes clash, broil, fight, fracas, tussle and all that which would not make her glory to be virtuous. Pride, ego and nagging is a character thing. If we learn to control our characters, then we will control our lives. People get upset for nothing. And those who are not are seen as fools.

Now let us take a look in detail at what the Book of Proverbs [31:10-31] has to say about a virtuous woman who in all ramifications should be that which should be emulated.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” Proverbs [31:10-11]

As simple as this is, ladies, are you ready to pay the price? This is not what I hear but do you understand? A virtuous woman is a product of many factors. Such is a redefined creature that has the fear of God at heart and the one who can go to any length to keep her home. Negative words that can destroy her home should never become a thought in her mind. I know we are human and we have our low days. But this shouldn’t give us the right to become abusive with words. Building a home requires the right attitude. Your man might be wrong a time but you have to give him that respect as your head. Learn not to make him look like a fool in front of others.  

“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.” Proverbs [31:12-13]

Men hope you understand what this verse says. Make her your role model. Respect her in all she does. Learn to carry her along and never see her as a weaker vessel but an equal partner in the scheme of things. Remember whoever you choose, bad or good, that person is a blessing to your soul. To make the blessing work, all you need is a touch of kindness. Treat her like an egg and stomach her excessiveness. Again, remember that there is no good or bad woman, everything you want in her; you have to create them with your attitude.

“She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” Proverbs [31:14-15]

Ladies, study the words as stated in the verse. Do not make your man the labourer of all. Give him support that is built with love. Encourage your man and see everything good in him. Let the strength of the home be under your care. When he provides the money, no matter how little you feel it is, be grateful and make a decent meal out of it. Let the home management be your care. And let him trust you with excess money. When you can distribute the meat and the household have abundances of them daily with the little he has at that moment, blessed are you, for you have not only earned yourself a pass mark, but the right vessel that is trusted.

“She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” Proverbs [31:16-17]

Be a wise woman. If your man is lousy with money, then take it upon yourself to help him plant the field. When I say plant the field, I mean you working hand-in-hand with him to build your future. Building a home is not a one man affair. It requires both parties. This you can help when you have the right attitude and mentorship. Women are good advisers. They seem to see where their spouses may not see. And the way to be a good adviser is to take your man as your best friend. Talk to him like a mother will do to his beloved child. Remember every marriage is for a reason. And the best way to make it work is to give it all that you have.

“She perceiveth that her merchandise [is] good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.” Proverbs [31:18-19]

Having an ear for the good things around you is what brings joy to the heart. See far beyond your man. And make him feel good with some good spots around town. Places for romantic affairs can spice up your love life. Your merchandise is nothing but your man. Something to be loved, cherished and keeping the candle burning without any reason to make it go off. When you cherish what you have, you will have the same in return. Do you want showers of praises from your man, keep the love burning. And hey, I always welcomed him with a smile and not with complaint each time he comes home from work.  

“She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household [are] clothed with scarlet.” Proverbs [31:20-21]

Do not be a stingy wife, be a giver. When you are a giver, your man will respect you. And husband, giving to your wife is the best thing you can do to make her happy. Spoil her with gifts and bless her days with turns of lovely words. When you teach your wife to give, that is if she is not a giver, then you will see that she will build your home with all that you need to make it a happy home. Giving is what brings joy. And giving to the needy is what will make you never to lack. When you give, you have sowed a seed that you will reap later on in life. No one forgets a giver.

“She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing [is] silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.” Proverbs [31:22-23]

Woman, when you treat your man right. He will become the envy of others around him. Your good tidings will spread within and outside the city. When you take care of him, he will in return take care of you. Love is a two way thing. Do not look good while your man looks tattered. Whatever you know will make your love cool, act on it. Those little things matter in a relationship. Spice them up. Look good, smell fresh, presentable and adorable. If people want to tell your story, they look at how you treat the one you love.

“She maketh fine linen, and selleth [it;] and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour [are] her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.” Proverbs [31:24-25]

Men what you seek for in others, you rightly have it within you. Why go in search of gold in another man’s backyard while you have a precious diamond in your backyard. The worth of the one you love can never be compared to that which you seek for outside. All you need is to discover the hidden gift within the one you love and see how things go. Empower your woman and she will surprise you with the gift of life. The auras that will make you shout for joy. I mean the secret happiness that adores your curious mind.

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” Proverbs [31:26-27]

A woman of wisdom is a blessing to her man. She is respected in all her dealing. Wisdom is the principal thing. And when you as a lady have it, your man will adore you like the princess you are. Men are not looking for a woman that will become a liability to them but one that will be an asset. You can’t be an asset if all you are good for is discussing words that will never add value to life. Be tender and responsible to the needs of your household. You shouldn’t be a housewife that lacks the duty that will make you a blessing to your man. Idleness should be far from you. Every day, you should think on how to add value to your relationship. Be creative and have a good control of your time. Laziness is not allowed here but productiveness in all you do.

“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also,] and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.” Proverbs [31:28-29] 

If your man lacks the virtue to bless you; check within you how your life has been. There is no need trying to look the other way round. For you to be called blessed, you must be a blessing to others. Ladies, control your relationship with the manner and the way you talk. Do not talk as if you have nothing to lose. Look at that verse and what it said, “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also,] and he praiseth her”. If you desire a good blessing from your home, keep the loves going and burning with good words that flow. And if angered, do not make it hurt.       

“Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.” Proverbs [31:30-31]

When you genuinely have the fear of the Lord within you, you will strive to be good all time. You will never want to hurt the other person’s feelings. The fear of the Lord is what brings wisdom. It is what will help you guide your home. The home where the Lord reigns is a blessed home forever. The way to make His love reign is to guide our thoughts with positive utterances. When all that comes around you appreciate your kind disposition, your praise among the gates, is what they will sing. Take it or live it, what will make a man spend his last cash on you is the way you give respect to him.

The way the Book of Proverbs defines a virtuous woman makes me green with envy. But how is it that finding a virtuous woman to a larger extent seems to be like a task that makes one wonder. Is it that the womenfolk do not come across these verses or the enemy is at work? Much as I should know, I feel the Household of Faith should be filled with these calibers of women but why are they few and what actually brings about the downwardness in imbibing these virtuous qualities? Should we say the enemy is at work or we ourselves are a contributing factor? But be it as it may in the aforementioned, we as humans, seem to have our hands in it. Nature is nature. It sometimes takes a hard time to draw ourselves out from the things which are our inborn. But one thing I know, no matter how hard we try, it is obvious that we cannot do it on our own. We need His grace to pull through some of our little foxes.

Now taking a look at the enemy, whom the Bible said, comes to kill and to destroy John [10:10], we would realize that the power the enemy exercises is through the little member, the tongue out mouth. 

The vulnerability of our tongue in every little moment of strife is what actually contributes to the unreasonable outburst that had weaken the strength that comes with love and sets the heart back to an unpleasant mode that will take time to recover from the hurts that the use of wrong words had done in moment of strife which verbally cracks the wall of the mutual respect that should continually exist between the woman and her man. I will advocate that in no matter how hurt we feel at any moment because of our partner’s attitude at that time, we shouldn’t use wrong words. We should learn to control our thoughts.

Still talking about the tongue, let us see what the Book of James [3:5-18] has to say about the tongue and what it could lead us into if not properly in use.

“Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!  And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.” James [3:5-6]

A little member is the tongue, but what it does, is mighty. It has the power of life and death. It can make and also it can break. But it all depends on how you make use of it. The right attitude is the best way to control the tongue. No matter how provocative you might be, learn to control your emotions. Stop using words you might not defend. Though talks are cheap, do yourself a favour by standing for the right attitude when it comes to the use of words.    

“For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” James [3:7-8] 

Who can tame the tongue except him that has control over his or her thoughts? The tongue, like I said, is very subtle. And the power within it is what can destroy the mind. Men with their knowledge, have the power over every creature but how hard it is to have control over the tongue. It is easy to build a lifetime of good relationships, but it is so very easy to destroy such with the words of our mouths. Sometimes, words are uttered which we later regret, but how does it feel in the heart of the person we said it to? Worst is between the person that you leave with every day.

“Therewith bless us God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.  Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” James [3:9-10]

When the mouth that blesses becomes the mouth that brings our curses, then something terrible is wrong. Let us not be silent on this, the tongue is what is destroying many homes. Know what to say and say it wisely. Do not make yourself feel you have it all and because of that, you can talk to anyone the way you like. Sometimes, you can walk away, but remember, it is not every time that you will have your way with your mouth. Love suffers no hate; for you to make worth its salt, you have to handle it with words that build it up rather than words that will destroy it.

“Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet [water] and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? So [can] no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.” James [3:11-12]

Questions from the Book of James and wisely, we need to imbibe this into our lives. Everyone around us needs our good and adorable way of passing a message through. We should be noted for speaking out bad words. Let people not ascribe some names to us just because we speak in a manner that seems not to see reasons. Always try to be real and not a two face person. Keep your words and let it be straight. Learn not to talk from both sides of the mouth. It will do you good if all around you would always want to come around you rather than staying away from you just because of your wrong attitude on how you treat people.

“Who [is] a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.” James [3:13-14]

Choose your words and make it pleasant to the ear that hears them. The bottom line is to converse in a mature way. People will take you seriously when you talk to them with respect. Nobody wants to be treated like a fool. To talk as if such a person has no value. Everyone puts a value on his/her person. We all carried our ego with pride. And our emotional feelings, we seek to protect with awesome pride. The best way you can make anyone bow and follow your lead is to treat such a person with tender loving care.

“This wisdom descendeth not from above, but [is] earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife [is,] there [is] confusion and every evil work.” James [3:15-16]

What actually brings about envy and strife is our boastful nature. The product of this is nothing but our tongue. Guide your tongue in every step of life you find yourself. Please do yourself this favour, never allow your tongue to control your thoughts. And please do not look down on anyone. Whatever position you are, remember you are not the first to get there. Treat everyone around you with respect. That is the only way you will gain their trust. Brave up for the challenges of life. And do not let any slightest provocation make you become uncontrollable with the words that come out of your mouth.

“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.” James [3:17-18]

Peace, abundance, peace is all that we need to make our lives a treasure house for others to emulate. Kind words, it is that will bear fruits. It is the wisdom from above that can guide us to achieve this positive attitude. Everyone can be a better person if we realize that we cannot achieve our aim of being a better person except the Lord helps us. Our trust should be on Him and Him alone. When we give Him our heart, He will direct our thoughts to make every wrong right.

The Book of Proverbs has alighted to us what the tongue is and what it is capable of accomplishing if we fail within our wisdom to tame it down. Now, if I may ask, who is more vulnerable with the use of the tongue, the man or woman? Actually I am not here to judge who among the two is but rather would say; let the thought in you, direct your answers. And if you are guilty of it, this is the time to amend and bring back the unconditional love that clears the mind of those little hurts which the tongue contributed to and makes the heart feel regret each time it raises its ugly head in your relationship. Mutual respect is the bottom word to make our relationship the best it should be. To get the best, you must give the best. Always make it a point of duty within your heart that you will give the best and be the best no matter the challenges that come your way.

We shouldn’t blame the enemy at all times but we should rather seek to tame our tongue in every moment of anger. I know we all agreed to the fact that the enemy is not happy when two people decides to become one as instructed by the word of God in Genesis [1:28 & 2:24] but we shouldn’t give the enemy the go ahead to destruct our home using our tongue as a major contributory factor.

God’s purpose after creating man in His own image was for man and woman to fulfill His purpose for our creation which is recorded in Genesis [1:27-28], “So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

Every union is a blessing. And it is our sole responsibility to make that union a blessing. All we can do to make it a blessing is to give our all to make it work.

The plan for every relationship was for man to be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth but because man err when it disobeyed by eating the forbidden fruit Genesis [3:6], God had to past the judgment that change the cause of His original plan for man Genesis [3:14-20].

Even at that, the unconditional love He had for man, He still made the coats of skins and clothed them before sending them out of the garden of Eden, Genesis [3:21-24]. Yet still for him to regain the work of His hand, He sent His only begotten son Jesus Christ to die for the sake of man so that man could be reconciled to God His Maker. The cruel account that Jesus went through for the sake of man is nothing but love. Matthew [27:24-50]. The unconditional love of mankind and the love that has no doubt.

For us to make our relationship work, we need to imbibe in it the kind of love that Christ loves us. Just love, love and love again.