Sinach’s Journey to Joy Discovering Purpose Beyond the Search for Marriage

I wasn’t actively searching for “Mr. Right.” In fact, I was truly happy on my own. I told myself that if I remained single for the rest of my life, I would still be okay. That peace and contentment didn’t come from societal expectations or pressure, but from a deep understanding that my life had meaning beyond just being married. Many people believe that marriage is the ultimate goal, the key to happiness and fulfillment. But I learned that true joy comes from being whole and living your purpose, whether or not you have a partner by your side.

It’s a common misconception that marriage completes a person or that being with “the one” will solve all your problems. However, if you’re not happy or whole when you’re single, marriage won’t suddenly fix that. You might get married, but if you don’t have a solid sense of self, a clear purpose, and a peaceful heart, then no amount of companionship will bring lasting happiness.

The joy I speak of comes from walking in the calling God has placed on your heart. It’s about living fully and freely in the purpose that gives your life meaning. That’s the real secret to joy — not a ring on your finger or a title beside your name, but knowing and fulfilling your purpose every day.

For many years, I focused on my purpose before even considering marriage. I was deeply fulfilled by my work, my relationship with God, and the impact I was making in the lives of others. I found joy in the simple act of living a meaningful life. This foundation gave me a sense of peace that was unshakable. Because of this, I never felt desperate to find love or to complete myself through someone else.

This kind of peace and contentment is rare in a world obsessed with romantic love and societal milestones. We are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us we need to be married to be successful, respected, or happy. Social media feeds us images of perfect couples, engagements, weddings, and families, creating pressure to conform to a specific life script. But real life is much more complex, and happiness doesn’t always follow the same path for everyone.

Being single isn’t a lesser state—it’s an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and preparation for whatever comes next. When you’re whole on your own, love finds you naturally and fits into your life, rather than becoming the center of it. This is why I say you must be whole before love finds you. Wholeness isn’t about perfection; it’s about accepting yourself completely, embracing your journey, and living authentically.

In my own story, I never rushed into marriage because I felt incomplete or lacking. Instead, I waited patiently, trusting that God’s timing was perfect. I invested in my personal growth, built meaningful relationships, and pursued my dreams. I knew that if marriage was part of my calling, it would come at the right time and in the right way.

When I eventually met my husband, it was a beautiful confirmation of the peace I had cultivated within myself. Marriage didn’t change my sense of worth or purpose; it added to a life already filled with joy. Together, we walk through life as partners who each bring their fullness to the relationship.

This perspective has allowed me to raise awareness about the importance of self-love and personal fulfillment, especially among women who may feel pressured to settle for less than they deserve or to define themselves solely by their relationship status. True empowerment begins with embracing your worth and purpose independent of external validation.

Another important aspect of this journey is learning to set boundaries and protect your peace. When you are whole, you are less likely to compromise your values or settle for unhealthy relationships simply to avoid loneliness. You become selective, knowing that any relationship you enter should enhance your life, not diminish it.

Finding joy through purpose also shifts your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have. Instead of longing for a partner to fill a void, you celebrate the gifts, talents, and opportunities already present in your life. This mindset opens doors to unexpected blessings, including friendships, career growth, and spiritual breakthroughs.

It’s essential to recognize that joy is not a destination but a daily choice. Choosing joy means embracing gratitude, hope, and faith, even in challenging seasons. When your joy is anchored in your purpose and relationship with God, it remains steady regardless of your marital status.

For those feeling pressure from society or family about marriage, I encourage you to pause and reflect on what truly brings you happiness. Ask yourself: Are you chasing a relationship because it will complete you, or because it complements the life you are already living? Are you ready to share your life with someone, or are you still discovering who you are?

If you’re not yet whole, focus on that first. Invest time and energy in healing, growth, and purpose. Pursue passions that ignite your soul and surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Seek fulfillment in your career, hobbies, and service to others. When you do this, love will come in its own time, and it will be more fulfilling because it comes from a place of wholeness.

For those who are married or in relationships, remember that your partner should not be your sole source of happiness. A healthy relationship is one where both people are whole and support each other’s growth and purpose. When two whole people come together, the relationship thrives on mutual respect, love, and shared vision.

In closing, I want to emphasize that your worth and joy do not depend on your marital status. Whether single or married, your life has immense value and purpose. Walk boldly in your calling, fully and freely. Embrace the season you are in, and trust that love will find you when the time is right.

Remember, the real secret to joy is living authentically, embracing your purpose, and loving yourself deeply — with or without a ring on your finger.

— Sinach